Steps on the Way of the Heart

The Talking Dog

2012-01-30T14:00:00.000-08:00

A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale .'

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks. 'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down.

I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'

'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff !

How The World Works

2012-01-27T05:48:00.000-08:00

I have this inherent feeling that I can figure out how things work. One time the wicked step mother gave me a broken microwave and I fixed it for $12. When I received it I didn't know anything about mircowaves and very little about electricity but I got into it and fixed it. I am cracking up thinking that I could figure out how life works - But I have spent my life trying. I crack up thinking that I have actually made progress. Adi Da knows how life works. He proves this by the miracles that He performs. He would speak and write at length about it for over 30 years only to be despaired and frustrated that we didn't understand Him. Yet, He still tried. His purpose was to free us. His progress is undeniable. All we have to do is love him and He can make it happen.

"That is a bold statement", John Travolta, Pulp Fiction. I'm guessing that it is one hell of a bold statement to say all we have to do is love Adi Da and we will be free. Devotion to a Guru is said to be the way to sprititual freedom. Love of Christ does free souls to an extent, though many of them got their heads on backwards. What happens is that we awaken to our native state. Our native state isn't the state of ordinary human existence- full of desire, feeling survival can be threatened and all of the complicated solutions to this threat, creating a mad world. We are not aware of our native state but do have intuitions of it, responses to it, attractions to it, yet, we do not see how we have adulterated it.

To adulter, to defile, as in adulterer. This word came into being about 700 years ago. I don't think God made it up. To be married and do the dirty boogie with someone that you are not married to poo's things up. In essence, as spiritual beings that is what we are, aldulterers. We have made love to the world of seperate things. We want to have things. We want to be loved by "things" that are alive. We love to Be things. We have poo'd in our pants. We need to change what we love. What we love with our heart creates our lives. If we love our native state we are drawn into it.

Darkness

2012-01-20T11:22:00.000-08:00

Demons within curse eternal the angels above
Beaten down tenacious tempered miscreants abide the roost
And rule it hard- no remedy known to boost
A worn out suffered soul

Doubled over bent and spent
The war scarred soul can
Only beg and pray for peaceful breath
If only few or even one

Word Flows

2012-01-18T14:39:00.000-08:00

Her breath warmed wind holds me down,
Pressed deep in here to slowly kissed love
Of Sun tanned length and moon bright
widened skies are sailed over
By heart felt dreams of forever passioned touch.

Deeply held to under down pressed up
And above ecstasy’s over flowed banks
Of river deepened love
And wide it is this river of sky
In pulsing hearted welcome held close
And oh so quietly nice is she to me.

--------------------------------------

Well written words of a
Willowed whisper walking
Woman shaped Spirit

The laughing cloud skipping lass
of merriment and mirth
Whose legs splayed wide open
Give birth to everyman and all nations

And whose one slight smile
Lets me know
That I am alive ---

Realizing Unity

2012-01-12T08:56:00.000-08:00

Adi Da summarized the highest philosophical concept. A concept that has moved the mind of man to fill mountains of worded pages- What is Reality? He wrote 'Nothing is something, Everything is One Thing' This summary statement is integral to my practice. I consider, ponder, contemplate and am slowly realizing Unity. To 'realize' is to become.

There is a well known joke. A Tibetan Buddhist comes up to a hot dog stand (or pizza joint) and says 'Make me one with everything'. This is enlightenment. 'Nothing is something, Everything is One Thing'- That is Reality. To realize this is to get that there is no becoming one with everything- it is getting that we are already one thing. This twists the mind a bit. For there to be only one thing that means there is no seperate thing that is a 'me'. Yet we experience ourselves. What we are doing is interpreting reality. We believe that "I am a thing in a world of things", and it sure looks true. Yet the truth is that there is only one thing, a unified field. We can not migrate from here to there in terms of being some dude or dudette and going "wow, I am in this farout place". The place is already here. Our experiencing of it is what needs to change. And what constitutes our experiencing? This is what makes us up. This is body, mind, and heart- coming about through lifetimes of experience... experiencing the trap- the machine of manifestation...
desires spun into sights hoped to be lived, only passed by, to where there is only sadness.

We need to stop our desired experiencing that lead to a horrible end- by being absorbed in this Unity that already exists and never ends. How do we do that? We do that by using a guide that directs us. This Unity is aware. It moves intelligently. It knows that we are seeing things wrong. It knows how we see things. It shows Itself in a way that we can relate to. Thing is that we are very messed up. The best of us are still underwater, like way down. So, this Unity must really reach down into the morass of us, even to those of us down-under filled up with self. To do this It manifests Itself in our image, acts like us, gets our attention, binds us to It. That is what Adi Da is and does. He is this Unity that appears to us, guides us to freedom.

Love Life

2012-01-10T09:14:00.000-08:00

I'm wondering how much common ground we all stand on. There seems to be one thing that is common to most- the life of love. And we are talking about romance, significant other stuff. Is life about this? Is this literally a life of love? We also have work, entertainment, politics (which can come under the previous heading of entertainment)and NASCAR. Freud said that we are constructed out of a blanket of sex. Life energy, sexual energy- are they the same thing? Someone can become armored when they are hurt, putting up walls. Maybe that is where military leaders come in. Adi Da made the most significant point. He said that these matters of heart are emotional-sexual. That the emotional and the sexual are connected. He also said that this world is a world of money, food and sex. This sums it all up. How about the way in which we are expressing ourselves? Does this arise out of our emotional-sexual make-up? Adi Da says that we are brought into fundamental disposition by way of a psychological creation that is universal. One thing that I know is this- my life is so full of the emotional-sexual, it's impact so important, that my life seems to be about this. But there is the spiritual path. Do I say that my life has been about that? What I find interesting is that at the depth and core of my emotional-sexual make-up I run into the essence of spirituality. And when I am in meditation, feeling the Deep, I run into the core of my emotional-sexual make-up. I see this as a most basic aspect of spiritual freedom. Persona, the psyche filled with desire, feeling of "I am"- the sense of separate self, all needs to be dismantled. This happens through understanding. Understanding happens to His devotees with real life events. In the last twelve years there have been three women that constitute a wealth of illustrative living, a learning from living with them. Actually my interaction with all women in these last years have become lessons but there are three that become the voice of God speaking to my heart.

Beloved

2011-12-31T07:25:00.001-08:00

We call Adi Da 'Beloved'. He is that and not an ordinary person. He is not an exceptional person. Adi Da exists beyond the scope of what is the usual way that we are. Feburary of 1998 I went to Fiji. It was supposed to be a retreat even though I didn't really know what a 'retreat' was, I was new. All I knew was that I had to see Him. I had to delve into the miracles that I was experiencing. One day there was a 'gathering' on the beach. A 'gathering' was an informal event- a sort of party. He sat in a chair. It was obvious that he was very different than anyone or anything that I had ever seen. The sight is so unique I have trouble finding the words. There are mythological stories where there is an oracle. It is a temple that a god or goddess would inhabit for a time. This is what I would see looking at Adi Da. There was not the usual persona, no dude, in a body. His body was inhabited by a higher power. I have seen movie stars, politicians, rock stars, and all manner of other types of famous to the degree of handshaking- He looked different.

Spiritual Yokes

2011-12-30T10:55:00.000-08:00

I read the derivation of the word yoga one time as yoke. Yoke is one way to say joke. I laugh a lot since being a devotee of Adi Da. Adi Da has the most incredible humor and laugh. In God there is no problem which lends itself to humor. Good humor is a yoga. But not all people on the path see this. For instance:

There was a man who was tired of the world of suffering, even tired of the world as a whole. He went to a monastery. He only wanted to live a life of quiet contemplation. So when the head abbot informed the man of the most basic rule of the monastery, the man acquiesced easily. The rule was that you could only speak two words every ten years.

After ten years the man came to the head abbot who said, "My son, you have been with us for ten years" and then asked "What two words would you speak?" The man replied "Hard work" The head abbot nodded, the work at the monastery was hard. They didn't use modern conveniences of the world.

Ten more years pass. The head abbot smiles at the man sitting in front of him. "Brother, ten more years have passed. "What two words would you like to speak?" "Bad food" was the man's response. The head abbot nodded, they lived a modest austere life in the monastery.

Ten more years pass. The head abbot smiled in love and asked the man sitting in front if him. "Brother, what two words would you like to say" The man replied "I quit". The head abbot nodded, speaking bluntly he says "That doesn't surprise me in the least. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"

Schizophrenia

2011-12-29T20:25:00.000-08:00

It is interesting to consider the mind. Especially when you have been wacko. Trying to describe my experience with a mental illness is hedged in trying to find the right words. Not only that, we get into trying to convey in terms that speak to a common experience- which raise questions about how common is our experience. Nevertheless we press forward. First we erase the blackboard of all terms like schizophrenia. Then we throw out ideas that it is so complicated that only some big brained scholar could understand it. When I was enacting the mental illness I felt like I was coherent and understanding everything. My mind was hooking together information and coming to conclusions that were crazy- very rapidly. When I first experienced it I thought that I was aware of the world being affected by the spiritual world- good forces against evil ones. The subject is pretty much universal. Having those thoughts is not what made me crazy. My insanity was based on the fact that I felt that I was some major player in this event- that I was important. Plus the way my mind was computing. Here is an example. I used to get "messages" from the radio. One time I was turning the tuning knob back and forth and it stopped on an announcer's voice saying "he got us now" - I actually thought that he was referring to me. It felt that there was something very important that needed to be resolved and my mind was processing and 'solving'. Thing is that there was nothing like figuring out what is wrong with a car, or, how do I find a recipe for tacos, or, how do I get the affections of an attractive lass. One time I heard a person's shoe drag as they walked and immediately felt that this was a message dealing with me.
I often speculate as to how I came to be schizophrenic. The first episode happened in Alaska during the fall of 1974. I came really close to being killed while fishing that summer, real close. I had gone overboard with my leg wrapped up in the heavy part of the net. I pulled as hard as I could as I was in the water being pulled down- it wouldn't let go. It is hard to convey the absolute terror that I felt. This was death- here, now. I lost consciousness, it felt as if a bolt of lightnening went up my spine. Somehow I got free. This was less than a month before the psychotic episode. One way to explain it in theory is from the Scientology perspective. Traumatic experience is recorded and filed away in the mind. As beings who have existed for a very long time we have been structured, conditioned into the belief that we have one life with the fear of dying. This conditioning has happened via trauma. If you have a severe injury, like a broken arm, your body goes into shock so you can exist without the pain. This occurs in a similar fashion in the mind. It's hard to believe that we have lived benign lives, what with all the war and violence. Traumatic lives and deaths are walled off, the mind's protective mechanism. These walled off memories can be restimulated when something happens that is similar to them. Theory has it that a great deal happens in the mind and body that we are not aware of. This happens without discriminative intelligence. Below awareness there is only the threat of death- many deaths, the force of nightmare deaths get put into action, surfacing into our feeling, affecting our thought processes. If the mind's protective mechanisms don't go into action we can go crazy- and I did.

Scientology cured me of schizophrenia. It did this in auditing. I was led to see and be relieved of the trauma of some past deaths. I know that schizophrenia will never happen to me again.

Scientology and Schizophrenia

2011-12-21T07:57:00.000-08:00

I have a memory of being led down a hall in the Walnut Creek Psychiatric Hospital in arm locks and choke hold. I was strapped down spread eagle on my back to a bed. Thorazine was dropped in my mouth. I was schizophrenic. The psychiatric drugs didn't alleviate my illness but did suppress it. There are varying degrees of what psychiatrists call schizophrenia. One year later I was starting to have the oncoming of marked schizophrenia. This was 1975. I ran into a friend who told me that Scientology dealt with past lives and out of body experiences. I got involved. Scientology cured me of schizophrenia- Totally.

Scientology has a policy that states that no person with a psyciatric history can participate in Scientology. This is because the church doesn't want some whacko running down the street naked going "Wooo Heee - I'm a Scientologist!!" But Hubbard didn't want to close the door on people that could be helped. So he instituted a clause which says that a person with a psyche history could petition. I petitioned and was accepted in 1975. Scientology curing my schizophrenia is a long involved story that I won't go into now. I participated in Scientlogy intensively from 1975-1985. I lived in Tahoe doing a small business starting in 1985 which failed in 1995. Life hit the skids and by 1996 I was ready for help. It was either 1996 or 1997 that I went to LA to get some auditing. Auditing is the activity in Scientology where you look at what's troubling you. This is dealt with in a very effective manner. I was told that I was not eligible to receive auditing because of my psyche history. Once you have gotten the benefits of Scientology you are certain that it is the only true spiritual path that really works. Being told that I wasn't going to receive any more auditing was a heartbreak. I knew that there was a possibility that I could regain my status with enough work but I was a bit angry and was just going to sit on it for a while. Then came Adi Da and His Miracles.

Understanding

2011-12-02T10:21:00.000-08:00

This is why we are here- To understand and apply our understanding. I would like to understand how to make a raw chocolate candy bar. That is hard to grasp. It seems easier to understand what the world is made of. Easier when you read about it well explained. Jill Taylor-Bolt had a severe stroke in her brain. She is a neuroanatamist. She explains very well what the world is and how we function in a book called 'My Stroke of Insight'. The world is composed of atoms. Atoms are made of energy. This is a most amazing thing. We see objects but they aren't really solid objects. When you see a propeller of an airplane spinning real fast you don't see the individual blades but see what looks like an object. Atoms of your desk and atoms of your hand are going so fast that they can not integrate so they seem solid. Air is composed of molecules of oxygen, hydrogen and others. Yet we don't see these molecules. What we see and hear and smell and taste and touch is our brain's construction of the world that isn't complete. There are ultraviolet, infraread, ultrasonic, x-ray and an awful lot that is happening around us that we don't perceive. Everything is energy. The body and the mind are composed of energy. The body and mind work together as systems of energies. There are subtle energies, psychic energies that we can understand. We can apply this understanding to better our state.

The It of It

2011-11-25T15:01:00.000-08:00

The Lions Club vs The Hells Angels

2011-11-24T13:00:00.000-08:00

I grew up in Pleasant Hill California. There used to be a sort of county fair called Fiesta Del Diablo. My father was in the Lions Club. The Lions Club would have two booths at Fiesta Del Diablo. One was corn-on-the-cob and the other was beer. I was about 10 at the time so this would have been 1962. The Hells Angels regulary attented the Fiesta. One day a group of Angels showed up at the beer both. My father worked at the beer booth. The Angels ordered beers. They were asked for IDs. This became a problem cause some of the Angels didn't have IDs. They started to get angry and the men from the Lions Club started to get angry. Dave Dunham was a man who worked in the corn-on-the-cob booth. He was a big Irish guy. Over 6', think NFL full back and you get the picture. The booths were divided by a wooden rail. Mr Dunham was leaning against the rail bouncing a machete against the wood. He had a smile on his face and said "boys, it's time to leave." Thing is that the men of the Lions Club were all WWII vets. Dave Dunham was a marine in the South Pacific. He had no problem about mixing it up with the Hells Angels- using a machete. The Angels understood this and left.

I remember a movie called Full Metal Jacket- marines and Vietnam. The scenes of the marine training starred an actual USMC drill sargeant. One of his lines was about men being natural born killers. This is true. Yet, to live in a civilized manner this instinct must be brought under control. So we can have the urge to kill and not kill both active within us creating stress.

Adi Da wrote an esoteric poetic play called the Mummery. The word mummery means two things – 1. It is a play of ridiculousness 2. It is a play with the actors wearing masks. All the world is a stage played on by actors in masks. It seems to me that Adi Da’s Mummery encompasses both meanings of the word Mummery. The bad guy in the play is named Evelyn Disk. In one scene he shows a tattoo on his foot that says “I’m OK”. In the fabric of our essence “I’m OK” lives amongst us all. It can be layered over with low self-esteem but the “self” sense- the “I am” lives within us all.

When you do Scientology you do a lot of past life work. The subconscious that is ever present, influencing us, sometimes taking us over is filled with past life. One time in a Scientology session “Kill ‘em all” flew out of my psyche. I loved fishing salmon. You are only expediting their death sentence that is soon to be executed- So it was lawful killing. I loved it. It’s hard to admit our nasty, unacceptable behavior. Yet, there are all these urges to fight. The “I’m OK” equation manufactures justifications of being a ‘white hat’. “I’m going to fight on the good side… And really kick some ass!!” I remember watching westerns as a child. I was so moved to being a ‘law man’. Roy Rogers…. He was like a god to me and I wanted to be just like him.

At the core of our activity of being a separate one are all the nasties of us- Where we intend harm. These intentions are buried. It is fruitful to uncover these things- To air them out where they can dry up.

Life

2011-11-24T09:33:00.000-08:00

Life is composed of the search for experience and circumtance. We feel that these things will satisfy us. Circumstance will satisfy our anxiety about survival. Experience will give us pleasure. Adi Da says that our search comes from a fundamental sense of dilemma. He uses the term "dis-ease". He says that when we come to see this we have gained understanding

Losing a fight

2011-11-22T13:42:00.000-08:00

I remember hearing a football player named Ahmad Rashad talking about losing a Super Bowl to the Raiders. He was a Dallas Cowboy. They were obviously the superior team and got squashed. The story he tells is interesting and reveals something very important. He says that the Cowboys were standing on the sidewalk the day before the game, all dressed in the same suits. This was what they wore as they traveled together- suits and ties. He said that the Radier team bus pulled up and the Raiders got off. They were all dressed like Super Fly- gold chains, fur coats, wide brimmed hats. They also had women, foxy women. Ahmad said that the Cowboys were intimidated. He said that he felt like a Sunday School choir boy. The game was lost right there. You need to know that you are right to win a fight.

The Ultimate Martial Art

2011-11-20T11:51:00.000-08:00

The Ultimate Martial Art is fighting and defeating the Devil. Whoa, "Say Wot!?". Yep, we are going to take that sucker down. Let's say that we have trained to the highest degree. Now we are ready to take him on. "Ok sucker!"... but exactly where do we find this guy? This is the point. He is already here. "There is a Devil I have no doubt but is he trying to get in us or is he trying to get out?". There really isn't a diety that is ruling the world and doing bad. The actual Devil, the evil doer is within. It is hard to face the truth that we are not all that cool. Some of us can get the fact that we aren't the greatest thing since sliced bread but few of us see the nasty of what we are. This isn't to say that we are all bad. We do have positive qualities- at our root native state we are Divine. Problem is that we don't live at this root place. We live in conflict. We are fighting all the time. Sometimes we cruise, having the upper hand. Eventually though, we get pulled into the scrape and scrap of Life as a struggle. To win at life we must defeat the demons that live within us.

Optical4less Is The Best!

2011-11-17T08:30:00.000-08:00

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